Long live the Weasley Twins!
by Senuna
Summary: Today; on April fools day, we celebrate the 32nd birthday of the Weasley twins with sharing their funniest moments in the Harry Potter tales. May they always be the ones to give laughter to those who need it. Long live the twins! Rated T just in case.
1. The Hogwarts Express

**Writing this, it pains me to think of the wonderful reviews I am most likely to lose by redoing the first two chapters. Yet, I believe the twins deserve a fic with their best moments, without my remarks constantly interrupting their story.  
Once again, I wish Fred and George a wonderful (somewhat belated) 32nd ánd 33 birthday.  
As your reviews bring me laughter, may the twins always be the ones to give it back to all readers.**

_Platform Nine and three quarters:  
_"Fred, you next," the plump woman said.  
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, call yourself a mother? Can't you _tell_ I'm George?"  
"Sorry, George, dear."  
"Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy, and off he went.

* * *

_Harry the celebrity:  
_"What's that?" said one of the twins suddenly, pointing at Harry's lightening scar.  
"Blimey," said the other twin. "Are you—?"  
"He is," said the first twin. "Aren't you?" he added to Harry.  
"What?" said Harry.  
"_Harry Potter_," chorused the twins.  
"Oh, him," said Harry. "I mean, yes, I am."

* * *

_Percy the Perfect Prefect:  
_"Oh, are you a _Prefect_, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea."  
"Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once—"  
"Or twice—"  
"A minute—"  
"All summer—"  
"O shut up," said Percy the Prefect.

* * *

_A (possibly) traumatized Ginny:_  
"Don't Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls."  
"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat."  
"_George!_"  
"Only joking, Mum."  
_  
_**A/N: There's only one thing left to say:  
Long Live the Weasley Twins!**

Senuna


	2. Jumpers and Broomsticks

**Another chapter with more moments of fame for the identical redheads.  
Right now I am halfway through the first book. The next chapters (coming up in September, I didn't bring the books with me on my holiday) will most definitely be longer.  
A shoutout to all readers, I am incredibly grateful for your support.****  
**  
_Mischief managed:  
_Fred and George Weasley now came into the hall, spotted Harry and hurried over.  
"Well done," said George in a low voice. "Wood told us. We're on the team too – Beaters."  
"I tell you, we're going to win that Quidditch Cup for sure this year," said Fred.  
"We haven't won since Charlie left, but this year's team is going to be brilliant. You must be good, Harry, Wood was almost skipping when he told us."

"Anyway, we've got to go; Lee Jordan reckons he's found a new secret passage out of the school." "Bet it's that one behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy that we found in our first week. See you." 

* * *

_Is that even a compliment?:  
_"Very good," said Wood.  
"Er – Have the Bludgers ever killed anyone?" Harry asked, hoping the answer sounded offhand. "Never at Hogwarts. We've had a couple of broken jaws but nothing worse than that. Now, the last member of the team is the Seeker. That's you. And you don't have to worry about the Quaffle or the Bludgers –"  
"—Unless they crack my head open."  
"Don't worry, the Weasleys are more than a match for the Bludgers – I mean, they're like a pair of human Bludgers themselves." 

* * *

_Way to ruin the moment...:  
_Wood cleared his throat for silence.  
"Oke, men," he said.  
"And women," said Chaser Angelina Johnson.  
"And women," Wood agreed. "This is it."  
"The big one," said Fred Weasley.  
"The one we've all been waiting for," said George.  
"We know Oliver's speech by heart," Fred told Harry. "We were in the team last year."  
"Shut up you two," said Wood. 

* * *

_The intelligence of Gred and Forge:_  
"Hey, look – Harry's got a Weasley jumper too!"  
Fred and George were wearing blue jumpers, one with a large yellow F on it, the other with a large yellow G. "Harry's better than ours, though," said Fred, holding up Harry's jumper. "She obviously makes more effort if you're not family."

"Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demanded. "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."  
"I hate maroon," Ron moaned half-heartedly as he pulled it over his head.  
"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid – we know we're called Gred and Forge." 

* * *

_The P for...:  
_"P for Prefect! Get it on, Percy, come one, we're all wearing ours, even Harry got one."  
"I – don't – want –" said Percy thickly, as the twins forced the jumper over his head, knocking the glasses askew.  
"And you're not sitting with the Prefects today, either," said George. "Christmas is a time for family."  
They frog-marched Percy from the room, his arms pinned to his sides by his jumper.

**A/N: And the first book is officially finished. Gred and Forge are hard to find but they are very worth searching for. Please hit that cute little button to let me know your thoughts.  
Stay tuned and u****ntil next time,**

Senuna****


	3. So much Mischief, so little time

**Today the Hogwarts Express used to bring our two favorite redheads to the magical Castle. Unfortunately that will never happen again, but I wanted to cheer you up and who better help me than the Twins themselves?  
This entire chapter is filled with all their moments in the second Harry Potter book.  
So read, laugh and enjoy, just as much as I appreciate your reviews and alerts.**

**Disclaimer: this is embarrassing.**

_So much for saving the Boy who lived:  
_"Now, we'll go upstairs really quietly," said Fred, "and wait for Mum to call us for breakfast. Then, Ron, you come bounding downstairs going, 'Mum, look who turned up in the night!' and she'll be all pleased to see Harry and no one need ever know we flew the car."  
"Right," said Ron. "Come on, Harry, I slept at the—at the top—"  
Ron had gone a nasty greenish color, his eyes fixed on the house.  
The other three wheeled around.  
Mrs. Weasley was marching across the yard, scattering chickens, and for a short, plump, kind-faced woman, it was remarkable how much she looked like a saber-toothed tiger.  
"_Ah," _said Fred.  
"Oh, dear," said George.

* * *

_The charming Gilderoy Lockhart:_**  
**"Oh, he is marvelous," she said. "He knows his household pests, all right, it's a wonderful book…"  
"Mum _fancies _him," said Fred, in a very audible whisper.  
"Don't be so ridiculous, Fred," said Mrs. Weasley, her cheeks rather pink.

* * *

_The dullest work in the Wizarding World:_**  
**He let go of the gnome's ankles: It flew twenty feet into the air and landed with a thud in the field over the hedge.  
"Pitiful," said Fred. "I bet I can get mine beyond that stump."  
Harry learned quickly not to feel too sorry for the gnomes. He decided to just drop the first one he caught over the hedge, but the gnome, sensing weakness, sank its razor-sharp teeth into Harry's finger and he had a hard job shaking it off—until—  
"Wow, Harry—that must've been fifty feet…"  
The air was soon thick with flying gnomes.  
"See, they're not too bright," said George, seizing five or six gnomes at once. "The moment they know the de-gnoming's going on they storm to have a look. You'd think they'd have learned by now just to stay put."

* * *

_Mischief earns a reward! Wait…what?:  
_"Brilliant," yelled Lee Jordan. "Inspired! What an entrance! Flying a car right into the Whomping Willow, people'll be talking about that one for years—"  
"Good for you," said a fifth year Harry had never spoken to; someone was patting him on the back as though he had just won the marathon; Fred and George pushed their way to the front of the crowd and said together: "Why couldn't we've come in the car, eh?"

* * *

_Witty remarks for Wood:  
_"So," said Wood, at long last, jerking Harry from a wistful fantasy about what he could be eating for breakfast at this very moment up at the castle. "Is that clear? Any questions?"  
"I've got a question, Oliver," said George, who had woken with a start. "Why couldn't you have told us all this yesterday when we were awake?"  
Wood wasn't pleased.

* * *

_No pressure:  
_"It'll be down to you, Harry, to show them that a Seeker has to have something more than a rich father. Get that snitch before Malfoy or die trying, Harry, because we've got to win today, we've got to."  
"So, no pressure, Harry," said Fred, winking at him.

* * *

_Way to cheer someone up:  
_"Ginny Weasley, who sat next to Colin Creevey in Charms, was distraught, but Harry felt that Fred and George were going the wrong way about cheering her up.  
They were taking turns covering themselves with fur or boils and jumping out at her from behind statues. They only stopped because Percy, apoplectic with rage, told them he was going to write to Mrs. Weasley and tell her Ginny was having nightmares.

* * *

_A nice cup of tea:  
_Fred and George, however, found all this very funny.  
They went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through…"  
Percy was deeply disapproving of this behavior.  
"It is _not_ a laughing matter," he said coldly.  
"Oh, get out of the way, Percy," said Fred, "Harry's in a hurry."  
"Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant," said George, chortling.  
Ginny didn't find it amusing either.

* * *

_Happy (early) birthday Fred and George!:  
_"Oh, that," said Ginny, giggling. "Well—Percy's got a _girlfriend_."  
Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head.  
"_What?_"  
"It's that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater," said Ginny.  
"That's who he was writing to all last summer. He's been meeting her all over the school in secret. I walked in on them _kissing _in an empty classroom one day. He was so upset when she was—you know—attacked. You won't tease him, will you?" she added anxiously.  
"Wouldn't dream of it", said Fred, who was looking like his birthday had come early.  
"Definitely not," said George, sniggering.

**Mischief Managed!**

**Senuna**


	4. The Marauder's Map

**I'M BACK PEOPLE!  
Just had the best holiday in Spain ever, but boy am I glad I'm finally able to finish this story as soon as possible! I owe you guys that much for making you wait so long.  
You deserve the medal of patience, but I think you already know that.**

**Disclaimer: I'm going to say this one. More. Time. I am _not _J.K. Rowling! Seriously!**

_Introducing mayor Percy:  
_Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, "Harry. How nice to see you."  
"Hello, Percy," said Harry, trying not to laugh.  
"I hope you're well?" said Percy pompously, shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor.  
"Very well, thanks—"

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply _splendid_ to see you, old boy—"  
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."  
Percy scowled.  
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.  
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seized her hand too. "How really corking to see you—"  
"I said, that's enough," said Mrs. Weasley, depositing her shopping in an empty chair.

* * *

_Getting along with Percy:  
_"I said, that's enough," said Mrs. Weasley, depositing her shopping in an empty chair. "Hello, Harry, dear. I suppose you've heard our exciting news?" She pointed to the brand-new silver badge on Percy's chest. "Second Head Boy in the family!" she said, swelling with pride.  
"And last," Fred muttered under his breath.  
"I don't doubt that," said Mrs. Weasley, frowning suddenly. "I notice they haven't made you two prefects."  
"What do we want to be prefects for?" said George, looking revolted at the very idea. "It'd take all the fun out of life."  
Ginny giggled.

You want to set a better example for your sister!" snapped Mrs. Weasley.  
"Ginny's got other brothers to set her an example, Mother," said Percy loftily. "I'm going up to change for dinner…"  
He disappeared and George heaved a sigh.  
"We tried to shut him in a pyramid," he told Harry. "But Mum spotted us."

* * *

_Bighead Boy:  
_Fred and George were crouching in the shadows on the landing, heaving with laughter as they listened to Percy dismantling his and Ron's room in search of his badge.  
"We've got it," Fred whispered to Harry. "We've been improving it."  
The badge now read _Bighead Boy_.

* * *

_Oh stop it, you!:  
_"We've got three _superb_ Chasers."  
Wood pointed at Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, and Katie Bell.  
"We've got two _unbeatable_ Beaters."  
"Stop it, Oliver, you're embarrassing us," said Fred and George Weasley together, pretending to blush.

"And we've got a Seeker who has _never failed to win us a match_!" Wood rumbled, glaring at Harry with a kind of furious pride. "And me," he added as an afterthought.  
"We think you're very good too, Oliver," said George.  
"Spanking good Keeper," said Fred.

* * *

_Jealous? Fred?:  
_…They've got a new Captain and Seeker, Cedric Diggory—"_  
_Angelina, Alicia and Katie suddenly giggled.  
"What?" said Wood, frowning at this lighthearted behavior.  
"He's that tall, good-looking one, isn't he?" said Angelina.  
"Strong and silent," said Katie, and they started to giggle again.

"He' s only silent because he's too thick to string two words together," said Fred impatiently.

* * *

_Wood's nightmare:  
_"Diggory got the Snitch," said George. "Just after you fell. He didn't realize what had happened. When he looked back and saw you on the ground, he tried to call it off. Wanted a rematch. But they won fair and square…even Wood admits it."  
"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.

"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself."

* * *

_Ron's hero, Scabbers:  
_Ron had taken the loss of his rat very hard indeed.  
"Come on, Ron, you were always saying how boring Scabbers was," said Fred bracingly. "And he's been off-color for ages, he was wasting away. It was probably better for him to snuff it quickly—one swallow—he probably didn't feel a thing."  
"_Fred!_" said Ginny indignantly.  
"All he did was eat and sleep, Ron, you said it yourself," said George.

"He bit Goyle for us once!" said Ron miserably. "Remember, Harry?"  
"Yeah, that's true," said Harry.

"His finest hour," said Fred, unable to keep a straight face. "Let the scar on Goyle's finger stand as a lasting tribute to his memory. Oh, come on, Ron, get yourself down to Hogsmeade and buy a new rat, what's the point of moaning?"

* * *

_The night after the 'We-beat-Ravenclaw-party':  
_"Black! Sirius Black! With a knife!"  
"_What?_"  
"Here! Just now! Slashed the curtains! Woke me up!"  
"You sure you weren't dreaming, Ron?" said Dean.  
"Look at the curtains! I tell you, he was here!"

They all scrambled out of bed; Harry reached the dormitory door first, and sprinted back down the staircase. Doors opened behind them, and sleepy voices called after them.  
"Who shouted?"  
"What're you doing?"  
The common room was lit with the glow of the dying fire, still littered with the debris from the party. It was deserted.

"Are you _sure_ you weren't dreaming, Ron?"  
"I'm telling you, I saw him!"  
"What's all the noise?"  
"Professor McGonagall told us to go to bed!"  
A few of the girls had come down their staircase, pulling on dressing gowns and yawning. Boys, too, were reappearing.  
"Excellent, are we carrying on?" said Fred Weasley brightly.

* * *

_The birth of Harry's mischief:  
_Harry followed Fred and George inside. George closed the door quietly and then turned, beaming, to look at Harry.  
"Early Christmas present for you, Harry," he said.  
Fred pulled something from inside his cloak with a flourish and laid it on one of the desks. It was a large, square, very worn piece of parchment with nothing written on it. Harry, suspecting one of Fred and George's jokes, stared at it.

"What's that supposed to be?"  
"This, Harry, is the secret of our success," said George, patting the parchment fondly.  
"It's a wrench, giving it to you," said Fred, "but we decided last night, your need's greater than ours."  
"Anyway, we know it by heart," said George. "We bequeath it to you. We don't really need it anymore."

"And what do I need with a bit of old parchment?" said Harry.  
"A bit of old parchment!" said Fred, closing his eyes with a grimace as though Harry had mortally offended him. "Explain, George."  
"Well…when we were in our first year, Harry—young, carefree, and innocent—"  
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.  
"—well, more innocent than we are now—we got into a spot of bother with Filch."  
"We let off a Dungbomb in the corridor and it upset him for some reason—"  
"So he hauled us off to his office and started threatening us with the usual—"  
"—detention—"  
"—disembowelment—"  
"—and we couldn't help noticing the drawer in one of his filling cabinets marked _Confiscated and Highly Dangerous_."

"Don't tell me—" said Harry, starting to grin.  
"Well, what would you've done?" said Fred. "George caused a diversion by dropping another Dungbomb, and I whipped the drawer open, and grabbed—_this_."  
"It's not as bad as it sounds, you know," said George. "We don't reckon Filch ever found out how to work it. He probably suspected what it was, though, or he wouldn't have confiscated it."  
"And you know how to work it?"  
"Oh yes," said Fred, smirking. "This little beauty's taught us more than all the teachers in school."  
"You're winding me up," said Harry, looking at the ragged old bit of parchment.  
"Oh, are we?" said George.

He took out his wand, touched the parchment lightly, and said, "_I solemnly swear I am up to no good._"_  
_and at once, thin ink lines began to spread like a spider's web from the point that George's wand had touched. They joined each other, they crisscrossed, they fanned into every corner of the parchment; then words began to blossom across the top, great, curly green words, that proclaimed:

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs  
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers  
are proud to present  
_**THE MARAUDER'S MAP**

**And that's where I leave you hanging, folks! You just read all the golden moments of Fred and George in Rowling's **_**Prisoner of Azkaban**_**. My hands are hurting, and my cheeks are aching of all the smiling while writing down the jokes and mischief of the Twins.  
Please review, because we all love to get them, don't we?**

**Senuna**


End file.
